Love Pressure
by Elf Dragon
Summary: When the girls push the guys too far there's nothing to do but retreat.


Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own the characters. No matter how much I try, they still belong to Squaresoft. I own the idea; they can't take that, so there. This is actually a dream I had after playing enough of the game to burn it in my head so I wrote it down. It may not make much sense and this is my first fanfic so um… enjoy my lunacy?

Squall watched the ocean. "This damn garden has been floating around for weeks," he sighed.

"Oh Squall? Time to take me to the cafeteria for dinner!" Rinoa called.

"I'm thinking! Can't you go yourself?" Squall whined.

Rinoa glared at him.

"COME," she ordered, grabbing Squall by the arm and pulling him across the floor at a surprising pace. The male students looked sympathetically at him but were immediately grabbed by female students and also dragged across the floor.

Irvine was waiting in line for dinner thinking about whether to get the hot dog or the western style hamburger.

"Irvy," squealed an overexcited Selphie.

"Hiya, Selphie! How ya doing?" Irvine said, getting his burger.

"Is that for me?" she smiled. "Thanks." She grabbed the burger and walked off. Irvine, for the first time, was speechless.

Zell dodged a firaga sent by a Ruby Dragon; it burnt a tree down next to him. This made him mad. He ran up to the dragon and threw him in the air, cast Blizzaga, and watched as it exploded. He fixed his hair then smiled, and a flock of girls ran over to him, cheering his name.

"Zell! Zell! Wake up - I want to go shopping." Zell opened his eyes, then got up.

"Ok, lets go Jasmine" (I don't know her name, but I'm not calling her 'Library Girl')

"Oh by the way, have you got your wallet?"

She stared around the room, noticed a heavy pouch - Zell's SeeD pay for this month - grabbed it, then walked off.

At the end of the day all the boys were tired but met in the cafeteria for breakfast.

"Man, Jasmine's driving me up the wall. I had to go shopping with her and she spent all my money on makeup," complained Zell.

"Well, Selphie keeps taking my food - even the hot dogs," Irvine moaned.

"What's with him?" Zell nodded at Squall, who was asleep, head on the table.

"Rinoa's taking this knight thing very seriously. He's been ordered around a lot." Irvine said. "Oh, Squally? Where are you?" Rinoa called.

"Save me, please!" Squall begged.

"Okie-dokie" Zell pushed him under the table, slamming his head into the edge.

"Hey guys, have you seen Squall?"

Both boys shook their heads and Rinoa left.

"Thanks, you guys. I'm going to the bridge - it's quiet there." Squall said.

"Hey, I'm coming too. I can get away from Selphie and her hunger," Irvine said, standing up.

"Ooh! Ooh! Me too, please," Zell begged.

"Fine," Squall laughed.

Suddenly they were in the bridge.

"Oh, Squall?" came a voice.

"Nooooooooooooooo!'' screamed Squall

"Irvy, come here," came another.

"Mercy, please," prayed Irvine.

"Zell! Your book's overdue," another voice called.

"I … I … I lost it," Zell sobbed.

Three girls' heads popped up from the floor.

"Run for it!" Squall yelled and jumped out the window, followed by the other guys. They fell into the water. Rinoa stuck her head out the window.

"I'll get you, Squall Leonhart, one day!"

Zell sat staring at the sun.

"Damn, this is boring," he said, heading into the cave. It had been a month since they left the garden. They had been to hundreds of places to hide, but every time, the girls found them - Quistis kept telling where they were. Then she would sit there laughing, while they ran for their lives.

But she had the shock of her life when Seifer came up to her while she was laughing and rubbed his head against her cheek like a cat would. It gave her quite a scare.

"Run! There is a back door!" she screamed. They all ran for it.

Zell missed the garden very badly. He was even missing Jasmine. But if he went back now, Rinoa would hang him upside-down until he said where Squall was, and if _that_ happened, his death would come, either by gunblade or by being hung upside down. He shuddered and went to sleep.

Irvine was on the beach, fishing. He used his gun because it was all rusted out and useless. Every night, he dreamed about guns. He missed 'em real bad. Just for fun, he named all his girlfriends: Sarah, Joanna, Rachel, Alex, Selphie… The list kept going. He packed up his stuff and went back to the cave, thinking about things that had been bugging him, like, _Why does this damn cave have a TV that has only one channel - the fluffy bunny show_? and _Why does Zell have to play with my hair by putting gel in it and making it stick up_? and _Where does he _get_ the gel_? But most of all: _Why did I leave_?

"It's the Fluffy Bunny Show, sponsored by I'll Drive You Crazy," came that familiar high-pitched voice.

"That is it! A guy can take four hours of the same show, but eight is too much,' 'screamed Squall, stabbing his gunblade through the TV. He fell over in hysterical laughter. "Heheheheheheheheheheeeeeeeeee… cough, cough."

Squall went and found Quistis, kicked Zell until he woke up, and got Irvine.

"What is this about?" Irvine said.

"I have a bad feeling," he replied.

"Oh, Zell? Come here, I have a hotdog for you!" called Jasmine.

Zell closed his eyes. "Sorry, guys, I'm going. I can't resist anymore," he yelled, running out to her.

"Man," said Irvine, "I'm not that weak."

"Irvy, come here," said Selphie. She walked into the cave holding a big gun. "I have a present for ya!"

Squall and Quistis reached out to grab him, but he bolted over to Selphie, picked her up and gave her a big kiss, and went off.

Both gawked.

"I hope he gets shot. Well, it's just you and me now."

Quistis smiled. Squall bashed his head on the wall.

Rinoa walked in wearing a sizzling dress and leaned against the wall in a dramatic forlorn way. Squalls eyes were popping out. He ran over and got halfway to her.

"Squall, remember the word 'slave'," called Quistis.

"But… must go… sorry," he said. "Hi Rinoa, I've had my holiday now. Time to go home." He went off with her.

Sometimes when you look carefully in caves, you can see an insane woman mumbling about how no one wants her and how stupid men are.

Well, I never want that dream again. It's too insane. Well, if you liked any little thing about this, please review, even if you hated it, and I'll promise that I'll never do that again.

Quistis walks in. "Why doesn't anyone like me?"

"Quistis, get out of here! I get the attention now."

"Oh um... sorry.


End file.
